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What It Means To Be Alive (Page 4 of 7)
By Hephaestus

Summary: The nature of love and what it means to be human.
Author's Profile: @ fanfiction.net
Part of a Series: This is the sequel to They Did Not Fade Away.
Disclaimer: Joss owns all. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Comments: Please read and review!

. . .

Chapter 16

“Narsesim is a hell god who feeds on innocence. That’s why he needs child sacrifices to get him into this dimension. The cult Xander uncovered had already killed two children. I imagine he’s already half way through; he may just need a few more sacrifices to get him into this world.

Once that happens, we’re screwed. From what I could find, and there isn’t much, all livestock and plants die the minute he looks at them. His touch is death, and he’s strong. Very strong. We need to find where this cult is and take them down before they make another sacrifice.”

Xander looked at Angel, his features stony. “Why were you and Will so worried about Fred and the baby? What does Wesley have to do with this? Explain it like I’m a five year old.”

Wesley was the one that answered. Dragging himself to his feet, he leaned against a bookcase. Staring into the wood, he tried to keep his mind from exploding. “Fred couldn’t carry a baby to term. I didn’t tell her and I forbid the doctors from doing so either. She miscarried twice. I….she wanted so badly to be a mother. I thought I could help. I asked the Mahagano sisters to sustain the baby, to put a protective shield around her. It worked, and Allyson was born. I didn’t think…”

Dawn was on her feet and screaming before he could finish. “Damn right you didn’t think! You could have adopted, found a surrogate mother, anything but what you did! There’s a balance of life, and you fucked with it! You can’t bring a life into this world with magic and not expect some kind of recompense!”

His eyes were fiery, all traces of weakness and confusion gone. “You didn’t sit with her in that hospital room! You didn’t find her, sobbing in the bathroom, covered with blood! The look in her eyes, the pleading! None of you know what it’s like to watch the woman you love grieve and beg for something you know she can never have! I would do it all over again, because I love Fred and I love my daughter!” The heaving of his chest decreased as he spoke next. “I love my daughter. I can’t regret her life.”

“You do anything for your children. Anything. Compromising morals, making deals with the devil, it means nothing when it’s your kid.” Angel’s eyes bore into Wesley’s, trying to convey his understanding, his shared pain. Wesley seemed to soften at Angel’s look.

Taking a deep breath, Gunn tried to take all he was hearing in. His brain felt overloaded. “So…why do they want Allie? I mean, of all the babies in the world, why her?”

Dawn immediately connected the dots that Will, Wes, and Angel had within the last few days or hours. “She’s mystical. There are trace elements of the magic that created her…”

Wes cut through the air like a knife with his tone. “We created her. After the first six weeks, when I was sure the embryo was there, then the witches protected her. She was not created from magic, she was sustained by it.”

Shaking her head, Dawn continued. “That doesn’t matter, Wes. She has traces of magic in her. The same way I’ll never be totally human, neither will she. A being created or sustained by magic will always have magic in their veins. She isn’t just pure, she’s a powerful pure. Her blood will open that portal faster than anyone else’s.”

Wes went pale as Dawn spoke. Until that moment, he had been fighting off mental images of his daughter as a sacrifice. Now, the reality of that hit him hard. He was inches from the ground when Angel caught him. He felt himself being repositioned on a couch, his head on his knees. His daughter was going to die. He had killed her. There was a garbage can already under him as he retched into it.

Angel turned on his heel and went out into the garden. He thought it would be better to yell outside. Screaming towards the sky, he begged for a sign, a clue, anything that could save an innocent child. He knew the followers weren’t going to waste much time putting Allie on the chopping block. They had no idea where Fred was. Dawn had tried a locating spell, but it was as if Fred had dropped off the planet.

Silently, he begged Cordy to hear him. He pleaded with her to save the child of their friend. He didn’t want anyone to go through what he had gone through when Connor had been taken from him. No one should ever deal with the death of a child, he told her. Please, Cordy, he thought, plead my case with the powers.

Just when he thought he should go back inside, he was on the ground. Gripping his head, he lost the ability to breathe. Visions of Fred, of Allie, flashed through his brain. He let out an anguished scream as he felt Fred’s pain course through him. She was in emotionally agony, and for a few intense seconds, so was he.

He was almost on his knees when he felt Buffy helping him up. She called his name a few times, and it took a few minutes for him to answer her.

“I know where they are.”

. . .

Chapter 17

Willow had spent all day sitting at her desk, reviewing the files of the slayers that had just been accepted into the American Academy of Slayers. The headmaster position was still unfilled, Faith had proven to be a hard sell on the idea. Sighing, she shifted in her seat and moved onto the next girl’s file. They were all special, and they all had great potential, but they were all untrained and inexperienced. That needed to change.

It was nearly midnight in Nice. The stars were out, though they were a little difficult to see through the clouds, but Willow stared into them all the same. There was comfort in something so vast, she thought.

Grasping her head in sudden pain, she almost fell out of her chair when she felt a powerful push on her mind. She gasped as she opened the link between her and Buffy, something she had not done in many years. The pleading of her friend immediately made her rise.

Without having to think about what she was doing, she raised her hands and a wind rose around her. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on where Buffy was and pushed. She pushed through the folds of space, forcing them to bend to her will. Space folded in on her and she felt herself suffocate for a moment as light and matter and all of creation flashed before her. Her head swam and her vision blurred as space itself shook.

With one final shove, time and space warped around her. The whole process had taken seconds to complete. Opening her eyes, she saw Buffy in front of her.

Angel, Dawn, Will, Wesley, Xander and Gunn were there too. By the looks of it, they had just arrived where ever it was they were. Angel explained the situation as they walked. Jogged, she corrected herself. They were headed into the middle of an open field, but she could feel what was concealed here.

Putting her hands straight in front of her, she called on powers she had been too afraid to use for a very long time. When the lives of her friend and her friends’ child were at stake, though, she told herself her fears could not matter.

A shimmer of a wall appeared. Willow’s hair was turned darker she pulled the fabric of the cloaking spell apart. Xander swallowed hard, stepping towards her, ready to stop this whole thing if he needed to. He didn’t need to. They were inside whatever complex had been hidden before anyone had seen the complex appear. Willow’s hair was back to normal and she was moving.

They were all very well armed. Other than Willow. It had taken them precious time Angel did not think they had to get to this place. Angel cocked his head to the side, hearing a cry he recognized immediately. He took off as fast as his legs would carry him. He felt the ground disappear from beneath his feet before he saw the ground end.

As he flipped in mid air he took stalk of the room, if it could be called that. It was circular and dug thirty feet in the ground. The diameter of the room was nearly fifty feet, and in the middle was an alter with a screaming Allyson on it. This was all imprinted on his mind in the few seconds it took for his body to fall to the ground.

He landed on his feet, the ground shaking a little bit. Running at full tilt, he leapt into the air and used his bare hands to rip off the head of the first follower he could get to. Reaching out with all the power he had in his arms and back, he drove his fist into the chest of another and ripped his heart out. The followers’ broken ribs cut Angel’s knuckles as he pulled his hand back.

Throwing all his weight into a flying kick, he decapitated a follower with his foot. Another one fell to a punch to his head, which Angel barely registered as collapsing his skull. He paid no attention to any hits that connected with him or the fact that the cut above his eye had opened again. There was nothing on his mind other than getting to the baby in the middle of the room.

Will looked down into the pit of a room and watched Angel for a second or two. He wasn’t going to leave Buffy to help his friend. She had been the only one that could connect with Willow fast enough, and therefore had to come with them. That didn’t mean Will was going to let her get into any fights.

Willow lifted them all into the air, carrying them a few feet forward and then down, setting them all on the ground. Wesley wasted no time in running towards where the fight was, Xander, Gunn and Dawn close on his heels.

Willow led the rest of them. She could feel where Fred was. The magics holding her hostage were strong, and were controlled by someone Willow could feel would not give up easily. His energy was radiating throughout this underground complex, and it was a little suffocating to Willow. She hadn’t felt power that strong in some time.

She stopped short just before a wave of green light sent her flying ten feet back in the corridor. Will was moving forward before he could stop to think. His hands reached for the demon in front of him and were quickly deflected. Will looked up just in time to see him land on the ground a few feet beyond her. Standing, energy crackling around her, Willow started opening her mind to the power she kept stored within her.

Willow wasn’t on the ground long. She levitated herself into the air and stayed there as she hit the warlock with a powerful energy. He didn’t seem phased. Seeing this, she closed her eyes, tapping into energies she had long gone without using. She gasped as her head fell back and her chest lifted towards the ceiling. With a sudden and sharp intake of breathe, she was refocused.

Her hair was its normal color, but her eyes were jet black. The warlock in front of her was now throwing every spell he could think of at her, trying to force her back. The waves and blasts of energy rolled away from Willow like smoke. Lifting her hands a few inches, she released a slow breath.

The warlock screamed in pain as he slowly fell to the ground. He writhed in agony, his feet and legs turning into a puddle of discolored ooze. The magic Willow commanded climbed up his body until his screams were silenced. The only thing left of him was a shimmering gelatinous substance.

It took Willow a few moments to put herself back on the ground. The energy she commanded crackled around her, making her skin tingle. After composing herself, she moved forward again. His spell keeping Fred imprisoned would wear off in time, but she could feel Fred’s pain, and knew they could not leave her locked away any longer than necessary.

Punching through an invisible wall, Willow used her hands to tear a hole large enough for Fred to escape through. Fred barely gave herself time to crawl all the way out of the hole Willow provided for her before she was off and running.

Will ran by her side, knowing Willow could take care of Buffy if need be. When they reached the sacrificing room, the fight looked like it had jut started. Fifty followers surrounded Angel, Wesley, Dawn and Xander. Before Will could reach the group, Angel had grabbed Allyson and jumped. He leapt over the heads of the blood thirsty followers, landing far enough away to give the others some breathing room.

Not having to worry about protecting the baby let them unleash their anger in full. Will was in the midst of the fight before Wesley had noticed he was in the room. Wesley was swinging a sword as if it were part of his own arm. Allowing all his rage, all his regrets to flow from his body, he barely saw any of the beings he was killing. If they were demon or human was of no matter to him. He was going to kill them all anyway.

Will’s head hurt. His right temple was still throbbing, and he knew it had opened back up was bleeding. Glad to have a warm up before the main event, he thought. A battle axe was coming towards him, and he dodged at the last second, catching the very corner of the blade in his shoulder. An involuntary sound of pain escaped him, but he didn’t let the pain stop him from ripping the arm holding the axe out of the shoulder of the person it belonged to. He hated being hit with axes.

Having one eye wasn’t much of a problem most of time. At this moment, Xander was wishing he had a second one. He had taken a few good hits, but he had killed almost half a dozen followers. These people were worshippers, and had certainly been prepared to fight, but didn’t have the experience to match their opponents. Xander doubted that all of these guys put together could match the battle time any one of his friends had seen. He knew experience would win out in this battle. He was confident of their victory until a sound from across the room shook him to the core of his being.

Dawn was having a good time. She was sore, her ribs were a little bruised, and a cut at the top of one thigh was throbbing. Despite her discomfort, the adrenaline pumping through her veins made her surge forward, taking the lives of as many as she could. She was sure they were going to get out of the fight relatively unharmed until she heard a blood curdling scream a few dozen feet away.

Gunn was swinging with all his might. The two short swords he was using were cutting a swath through these beings in silly looking robes, but he didn’t think he was gaining much headway. They seemed to just keep coming. It had been a long time since he had been able to fight with all his might, though, so he was almost glad for the challenge. Those thoughts vanished when an agonized scream met his ears.

Angel had given Allie to her mom and was now standing in between them and a dozen followers. These guys just keep coming, he thought. He was trying to figure out where they kept appearing from as he broke the neck of one and drove his hand into the nose of another. He could only see one hallway, and he knew they were coming from there. His thoughts were interrupted as a scream pierced his ears.

. . .

Chapter 18

Willow and Buffy made their way toward the battle at a steady but slowed pace. Buffy was feeling strong, but she knew she could not engage in battle. Her movements were severely hindered, and her fears for her baby were outweighing the battle cry rushing within her veins.

Willow was keeping a close vigil on the slayer. Looking around the huge room now filled with carnage, she realized that the number of followers they were fighting weren’t changing. All the men in long blue robes with hoods permanently pulled over their faces were dying, but more seemed to swell from the ranks and come forward.

Closing her eyes, she tried locate the source of the power pulling these creatures forth, and gasped when the tendrils of her mind touched an evil that made her shudder and immediately pull her mind back. Narsesim was there. He was sending followers from his dimension into this one. The robe clad demons weren’t moving much from where they were, because their closed ranks prevented anyone from seeing the small portal opened in the ground.

She was about to reach out with her mind again and try to close that portal when she heard a scream. Her heart wrenched.

Buffy could see Willow was concentrating. The witch had found something. Putting her hand on her belly to try and still the ferocious kicking her baby was engaged in, she felt a presence behind her. Spinning, she was just a second to slow. A short dagger was in the stomach before she could stop the hand that held it.

She didn’t realize she was the screaming for a few moments. Pressing her hands to the bleeding wound in her stomach, she screamed again as the ground shook. Blood pooled around her, and she could see the ground in front of her starting to crack open. Her mind raced to think of something to do, but her panic for her baby overrode all else.

Willow’s heart stopped when she saw Buffy collapse to the ground. It took her half a second to strip the skin from the demon who had stabbed her friend, and another half a second to reach Buffy. Helping her onto her feet, she could hear Angel screaming behind her. He sounded desperate to get away from whatever fight he was in, but Willow doubted that would happen soon.

Narsesim was a few moments away from entering their dimension. Fear made Willow’s arms weak as she helped her friend up and to lean against the wall. The baby’s blood. The baby inside Buffy had brought the demon into the world. Willow lifted herself and Buffy into the air; she knew she had to get Buffy out of there before she lost any more blood.

Willow was frightened of the blood loss, but she was also frightened at what that blood was bringing into the world. It only took a few moments for Willow to teleport them out of the complex, cursing herself all the time. She should have never let Buffy go in there.

Pulling off her shirt, she pressed it to the wound in Buffy’s body. She was crying, near hysterical, but Willow had to leave. The world was in danger. Again.

As Willow reentered the underground fortress, she could hear the battle raging. Only this time, the sound undercutting it was a roaring. Hell was opening.

Angel looked as Willow lifted his lover and unborn child away. It didn’t take him long to put away the fear and bring out his hatred. Letting all the memories of feelings he had from his own demon, he released the little parts of Angeles he still kept hidden inside. The demon was dead, locked away forever, but Angel and Angeles had been one for so long, he could never fully remove all the parts of the demon from himself.

His efforts doubled. He could feel the portal to hell opening wider, and he could now see it in the midst of the followers. Calling to Will, he waited just a fraction of a second for the other man to leap towards Angel. Will seemed to know what Angel was thinking, and took over protecting Fred and Allie, though the followers were now a lot less interested in them.

Angel made his way to the portal over the heads of the demons, using their shoulders and skulls as stepping stones. When he was in the middle of the throng, he saw the opening. The ground was quaking, and there was a rush of wind from the portal. Angel could see that the hell god was struggling. The blood letting had happened too far from the site of the opening. At that thought, his anger rose, and he became as much of his demon as he could without actually having Angeles still in him.

He could hear people calling to him. He heard Xander screaming for him, he heard the fear in Dawn’s voice. None of it mattered. He dove through the portal, briefly wondering if someone going the other way would cancel out the power of the opening and force it to close. Knowing full well this may happen, and that he could be trapped forever, he told himself it would be worth it if he killed the hell god that had caused his child to be endangered.

Narsesim was huge. Standing at over eight feet, he looked like a hell god. His skin was gnarled, uneven blackness. He didn’t seem to have any armor on, or clothing, but Angel doubted he needed either.

The former vampire felt no fear when the hell god rushed towards him. Diving out of the way at the last second, he turned towards the demon, a plan unfolding in his mind at breakneck speed. This hell god fed on innocence, Angel remembered, and Dawn said his touch was death. That was all Angel had to know.

Tearing his shirt off to expose more skin, he launched himself into the air. The hell god caught him by the shoulders and Angel let out a scream. Narsesim’s touch was excruciating. Ruthlessly, he pulled his mind into focus and called up every memory of every fiendish thing he had ever done. He focused on the grisliest of murders, the most horrible of actions. He made sure he was the very antithesis of innocence, and focused on channeling that into Narsesim.

Soon, his own screams were met by the demon holding him and he felt himself drop to the ground. Focusing his eyes as best he could through the pain, he saw the demon clutching his chest. Narsesim howled so loud Angel thought his ear drums would burst.

At that moment, he felt a pull. It was similar to the pull he felt when he was away from Buffy, but this was stronger. This was exponentially more powerful. His breath caught as he felt himself being ripped through the fabric of dimensions. When he could breathe again, he was on the ground in the middle of a still raging battle. Willow was standing over him.

She didn’t pay him much attention. Turning around, she focused her energy and turned twenty or so followers into dust. The portal was closed, and she doubted it would be opened for a while. From the short time she had felt around with her mind, she had felt that the hell god was much less powerful than he had been moments ago.

Angel didn’t get up. His breath was coming in short and painful bursts. He couldn’t focus his eyes for long, but when he did he could see that the skin on both shoulders where the hell god had held him was charred. Pain radiated down his arms and back and chest. Red streaks traveled down his chest from the center of his burned flesh. His head was swimming in pain.

When the last follower fell, all eyes went to Angel. And thoughts went to Buffy. Willow lifted them all and they were speeding to the outside. Buffy was still sitting in the car, but she looked much calmer than when Willow had left her there.

Her eyes looked like they were going to come out of here head when she saw Angel. She was out of the car and by his side before anyone could protest. Her stomach had stopped bleeding minutes before they had arrived.

“Angel? Angel, talk to me.” Putting her ear to his lips, she heard his breath and the whisper of her name and nothing else.

She was being lifted from the ground, and Will was lifting Angel in his arms. They were bundled into cars and speeding towards Wolfram and Hart before she could respond to her Angel.

. . .

Chapter 19

He didn’t want to be here. He wanted to go home and comfort Buffy. When his mind cleared again, he realized Buffy was probably in one of the med-lab rooms as well. That realization really made him want to go to her. When he tried to move, though, a hand was on his forehead and someone was saying something calming to him.

He lay back down and let his mind clear a little. When he could see straight again, he looked around the room he was in. Will was sitting in a chair next to his bedside.

“Hey Peaches. Good to see you.”

“Buffy?” He tried to get up again, and Will stood menacingly. Angel weighed his chances of taking him in a fight and leaned back again.

“Buffy’s fine. While you were getting pumped full of antibiotics she was having an ultrasound. Gotta’ tell you, Angel, that’s one heck of a kid.” Sitting back down, he crossed his arms and took stock of the bandages covering most of Angel’s upper torso.

The doctors had said that the hell god’s hands burned and injected a poison at the same time. If Angel had been anything other than a hybrid or perhaps a slayer, he would have been dead soon after Narsesim had touched him. The doctors said he would recover; his body had already produced antibodies to the poison.

Fear quickly played across his features, “What do you mean? What’s wrong with my baby?”

“The baby healed. We think he was stabbed when Buffy was, but the knife was short. It hit mostly amniotic fluid. The baby healed, along with the sack-thing it’s in, which I don’t really understand. And, he helped Buffy heal too. She doesn’t even have a mark.”

Angel had leapt from the bed before Will could grab him and was out the door. His pants were still on, which was good because he hadn’t really thought to check. When he got down the hall, he was greeted by Buffy sitting on the edge of a bed surrounded by the majority of their friends and adopted family.

She jumped to hug him, but her movements were hampered by the beach ball she carried on her stomach. She paused as she stepped towards him. He didn’t look good. He was bandaged around his chest and shoulders. There were butterfly bandages on the cut above his eye and multiple cuts and bruises over the skin she could see.

All of her thoughts about the state of his health were pushed aside when he grabbed her arms and kissed her fiercely. She stopped herself from trying to wrap her arms around him and just kissed back. When he pulled away, she could see the relief washing over his features. Before he could speak, she held up a hand.

“Will knows the sex of the baby and I’m sure he told you. I still don’t want to know.”

Will had used the word ‘he,’ Angel finally realized. The knowledge that he was having a son sunk through into this brain, and he had to process that for a moment before he could speak again. “I won’t. You’re okay?”

“I’m okay. Baby’s okay. You’re…almost okay.” She smiled and rubbed his arm, seeing the worry still apparent on his face.

Everyone else was quiet. Willow had been speechless when they had been told Buffy’s baby had helped her heal. That was out of this world, she thought. Angel and Buffy had created a super-person that was saving lives before he had even been born.

The doctors had expressed their desire to do a battery of tests on the slayer and her unborn baby, but Buffy had flatly refused. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know that anything could be strange about the baby she was carrying. Her child was a miracle, she thought. This baby was the miracle that had kept her alive. She didn’t want to dissect how that had happened.

If her baby had some sort of special powers neither she nor Angel possessed, everyone would have to wait to find out. She was not going to be a vessel for some science project. The link she felt between her and the person inside her seemed to nudge at the edge of her consciousness. There was something different about her baby; she knew that. For the time being, though, she decided that would be between her and the child she carried.

Fred, Wesley and Allie were not present. They had gone home with the explicit directions to have Angel call them when he woke up. They wanted to talk about Connor, they said. Gunn had agreed with that idea one hundred percent.

Angel didn’t know if he was up to talking about Connor. He hadn’t slept in over thirty six hours and he felt like someone had dipped him in an active lava pit. He also accepted that he might not have a choice but to be confronted in a few hours.

He still had a disgusting green substance in his hair, he had never had a chance to shower, but now it was worsened with the blood of those demon followers, he was sure. His hands were still covered in dried blood, though it looked like the nurses had tried to clean him up.

He wanted to go home, peal his bandages off and get in the shower. And he wanted to stay in the shower for a few hours. He hadn’t felt this grimy since the eighties. Expressing his willingness to talk about Connor after he had a chance to clean up, the group broke up. After a few blatant threats, the doctors moved out of his way and they were able to leave. There was no way he was going to stay there, he told himself.

Slipping a shirt on was going to be difficult, so he opted for a button down Will had retrieved from his closet in his office. The plan was made for everyone to go to their respective homes and get cleaned up and to meet in the morning, after they had slept and cleared their heads. Will had called Wesley to inform him of the plan.

Angel couldn’t drive because he couldn’t lift his arms enough to do so. Buffy couldn’t move the seat far enough back to fit her belly in front of the steering wheel comfortably. Will agreed to drive them home. He politely refused the offer to clean up and use a guest room. He wanted to go home and crawl into his own bed.

Buffy and Angel dragged themselves upstairs. She helped him remove the bandages and winced at the charred flesh. It wasn’t a burn in the true sense of the word; it was a blackening of the top few layers of skin. The doctors had called it a very dark colored second degree burn. It was odd, but the magic behind it wasn’t really understood, so she accepted it for what it was.

He stayed in the shower a long time. There were bits of flesh and innards stuck under his nails, and he had to shampoo his hair three times to get all of the dried body fluids from his head. He stayed under the spray a few more minutes, until he thought he would fall asleep standing up, and then dragged himself out of the bathroom.

Buffy wasted no time getting in the shower. She had rinsed her belly before the ultrasound, but there was still dried blood in places. She wanted to forget that had ever happened. She wanted to give birth to her baby, to hold and sing to her child. She knew before she could fully move on, though, she had to understand Angel’s first child.

Before anyone else arrived in the morning, they were going to have a long talk.

. . .

Chapter 20

The adrenaline was starting to fade away by the time she parked the car. Her hands had been shaking since she had sat with her sister, holding her hand while they watched the baby move on the ultrasound screen. Buffy had been elated when they started to hear the heart beat.

Dawn couldn’t believe Buffy had been healed by the time they reached Wolfram and Hart. Finding out what happened, the doctors had wanted to do an emergency Cesarean to remove the baby, but Buffy had threatened them all with death if they tried to do that. She said she could feel that her baby was okay. Buffy had known she and her child were alright without anyone having to confirm that. Even so, Buffy had welcomed the ultrasound, and Dawn had been on the edge of her seat watching her nephew. The doctor hadn’t said the sex of the baby out loud, but she asked him outside the room.

Now, she sat in her car, getting ready to go in to the apartment building. She felt at the edge of her rope, her emotions were frayed. She needed to calm down and this was the best way she could think of at the moment.

That was why, when Will opened the door to his apartment, Dawn was in his living room. He froze to the spot, wondering how she had gotten in and what she was doing there. His brain stopped working when he realized her hair was wet and she was in nothing but a towel.

Dawn had discarded the idea of being friends first and then seducing him. She wanted to skip to the last part, now. Standing, she walked to where he was frozen in front of the threshold and closed the still open door. Stepping a few feet away from him, she gave him a positively wanton stare as she dropped the towel.

Will felt his mind moving but was at a loss of how to make what he was seeing stop. He hadn’t slept in days, since he had followed Wesley to he suburbs, he realized. He was dirty and physically and emotionally exhausted. And completely turned on.

No, he told himself, he had baby sat this girl. He reminded himself that he had previously had sex with the sister of the woman trying to seduce him. Dawn has breasts, his mind recognized. They were staring at him, which made it kind of hard not to notice that, but it had taken him a few seconds.

She was walking towards him before he could move. Her lips were on his and her legs were wrapped around his waist before he registered what was happening. Instinct took over, his mind was too exhausted to continue functioning, and he moved into the bedroom, kissing and groping her all the while.

She moaned into him as he rose to take his shirt off. Grabbing at his arms and back, he pulled him to her and kissed him until she was short of breath.

His pants had disappeared some time ago, though he couldn’t remember taking them off. He was making love to a woman he had known as a girl for so long, he couldn’t quite believe who was under him and then on top of him. She was beautiful, his mind said. This is wrong, his heart answered back.

In the end, both his mind and heart were overridden by his body.

. . .

They continued for what seemed like hours. Lying in his arms after they were spent, she felt something she couldn’t name. An emotion was building in her chest and she wasn’t sure she would be able describe it if someone asked her to. She felt joy, elation, release, satisfaction, and something else entirely.

Will’s mind jumped back into gear. They were naked. In his bed. He was naked in his bed with Dawn. He almost leapt from the sheets. Years of self control made his movements seem planned. He disappeared into the bathroom and got into the shower, scrubbing hard at the grime that seemed to cover him.

What had he done, he asked himself. This was the kid sidekick of the slayer, the whining bratty little sister that he showed a good time to sometimes. She was a beautiful, intelligent woman with a heart of gold and nerves of steel. She was a curvy, good in bed, woman with a sense of humor who wasn’t afraid to challenge him.

He smacked himself as his thoughts drifted to her ample talents that had just been displayed for him. He couldn’t do this again, he thought. He would tell her it was mistake. Pausing, he was surprised at the pain he felt with that idea.

Stepping out of the shower, he toweled off and wrapped a towel around his waist. Gathering his courage, he opened the bathroom door and lost the ability to breathe and think.

She was on her stomach, slightly pivoted on her hip with her face to the bathroom door. Her long brown hair was lying on her back and framing her face. The long lines of her body spoke to her time on the battle field and her dedication to training. The muscles of her stomach and legs were well defined but still feminine. The softness of her curves melted into toned muscles. Her skin glowed in the soft moon light coming through the windows. She looked ethereal.

She raised herself on her elbow, unashamed of her nakedness. Smiling a thin smile, she flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Come back to bed.”

Her young form embodied a maturity and confidence he could not fathom. What had happened to the young and whining girl who had bemoaned her creation? This was not that girl. This was a woman sure of her magnificence, and aware of her own power. He wasn’t sure he was going to have a relationship with the creature in front of him, but he was sure he was quickly becoming infatuated.

They made love again. The second time was slower, more personal. They explored each other with casual intrigue and aimed to please with intensity. When they lay in each others arms again, content to say nothing to fill the silence, Dawn realized she was, at the least, in lust with this man.

She felt contented and safe in a way she had never before. She was pleased to stay like this forever, she realized. A small part of her whispered that she could.

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