Angel's Secrets

Fanfiction Archive

Remembering Her

By Fresley
@ fanfiction.net

Summary: Wesley remembers Fred.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Angel or the song "I will always return" By Bryan Adams.


Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin,
I feel you come back again
And I believe. Diamond Rio- I Believe

He's laying there on the floor, in a pool of blood, his

blood. And in a way he's in her arms again, it's a lie,

but he needs to believe it because if he doesn't he'll

have nothing left.

"Hello there" he says the words burning in his chest,

but its worth it.

"Oh Wesley, my Wesley." Her voice! The voice

he's been missing for so long...

"Fred... I missed you."

---I hear the wind call your name---

he's remembering now how she left him,

Her screams tear a hole in his heart, "I'm with him!" she says, tears of pain running down her face her hand out stretched toward him. Her body shuddering on the bed. "He won't leave me. We're so close!"

She calms slowly "hmm... Oh, that was bad. But its better now." her eyes are closed in pain,

---It calls me back home again---

her hand reaching out to clutch his. Her eyes snap open and she questions, "You won't leave me?" she looks at him intently and he is almost broken by the fear that lies behind her eyes. "I won't." he says, hoping that she'll know that he'd never lie to her. She moves into his arms, her hand coming up to touch his face, as she says "My boys. I walk with heroes. Think about that."

---It sparks up the fire - a flame that still burns - Oh it's to you I will always return---

His words come with much feeling behind them, "You are one." She is his heroine.

She smiles at him, her fingers tracing over his closed eye lids, wiping away a lone tear.

"Superhero. And this is my power: to not let them take me. Not me."

'No' his heart whispers. 'Not you.'

"Thats right." he says

her hands trail down from his face to his hands, its like she's trying to memorize him, her breathe soft wisps of air against his cheek.

---I still feel your breath on my skin---

Her loving voice brings him back to the present,

"It's gonna be okay. It won't hurt much longer, and then you'll be where I am... We'll be together." Her sweet, sad smile stirs something deep inside him, and as he feels him self fade he remembers...

---I hear your voice deep within ---

"Will you kiss me?"

His hands, so strong and able, trace the line of her lips and her eyes flutter closed as his lips touch hers, he kisses her with all the love and tenderness that he has felt for her for so, so long.

He pulls back slowly, his eyes focusing on her, only on her.

Her next words pierce his heart, pulling a low cry from him, "Would you have loved me?"

---The sound of my love - a feeling so strong---

"Oh Fred, I've loved you since I've known you. No, that's not..." He looks past her for barely a moment, "I think maybe even before."

She leans her forehead against his, her hair tickling his nose, but he doesn't mind. " I'm so sorry." "No, no, no." he pulls back shaking his head slightly "Don't be." he smiles at her, its small but its all he has to give. She's coughing and choking on her tears, "I need you to talk to my parents. They have to know that it was quick, that I wasn't scared." she starts to tremble, "Oh God!" and behind those words there's a prayer.

----It's to you - I'll always belong-Now I know it's true my every road leads to you---

She can't give up! He looks deeply into her eyes willing his strength into her frail body. "You have to fight, you don't have to talk, just concentrate on fighting!" he looked into her eyes, they were so full of pain, and, sadness, and love. He knew then that she was going to die. And his soul cried out in anguish.

---And in the hour of darkness darlin' Your light gets me through----

He is caught for a moment, between the past and his memories, she is holding him, but at the same time he is holding her. But his whisper is only heard in reality as he looks up at Fred, who is not really Fred, his mind knows, but his heart needs to believe, this horrible, wonderful, beautiful lie. "I love you."

Then for a second he is back within his memories,

Her eyes are closed as she whispers "I'm not scared. I'm not scared. I'm not scared." her eyes open slowly as if they weigh to much for her to bear, her fingers flutter over his eyes, his lips, for a split second, and then her hand falls and she speaks for the last time, and his heart is shattering at her words, at the pain in her eyes, and its all to real."Wesley, why can't I stay?" and then she's gone, and he knows even before she falls limp in his arms, he knows from the sudden emptiness in her eyes, and from the feeling of loss that blossoms in his heart. He holds her smallbody to him, her head on his shoulder, His tears falling upon her long hair, "Please..." "Please..." come back to me...

---I can't stand the distance - I can't dream alone---

And then he's back in her arms being held by her she's whispering to him the words he's wanted to hear just one more time, for so, so long, "I love you, My love, Oh my love."

--I can't wait to see you- I'm on my way home---

And then he's slipping away caught for a brief moment in a world of memories...

Her kiss, her touch, her love, holding her... being held by her, He remembered, and then in those memories he found her, there in his arms, in his heart, and realized she had never left him after all.

----Oh I hear the wind call your name -The sound that leads me home again---

And then white, pure white, and in that whiteness her voice, and it is really hers, "Oh Wesley I love you so... Oh, my Wesley." And then he saw her face, and she was in his arms. This was where he belonged, in her arms, being held by her and he knew somehow he always would be. "Fred." his soul sang, and didn't stop. "Fred!"

---It sparks up the fire - a flame that still burns Oh, it's to you - I will always return---

The End?

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