.
 Angel's Secrets

Fanfiction Archive

Sanctum

By Cryptic

Page 2 of 2
Disclaimer: Yada, yada... Why Joss, why??
Author's note: For all those who stuck by me, patiently waiting for inspiration to hit me -- thank you. This is all for you. This part goes to my mother for being my inspiration, although she will never read this. Also to Sophie, for becoming such a great friend. And last but not least to Cryptgirl, who waited long enough for it. :)

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Part 4

"Great, not only was I forced into a date with Riley, but he has the guts not to show up..I'll kill him" *and do the world a favor*. Buffy sighed impatiently, fidgeting with her necklace -- a silver cross, she had received long ago from someone really, really special. "Gggrr, and no sign of Angel either.."

"Hi Buff" Xander patted her shoulder twice to get her attention. "Where's your date?"

"Do not remind me! I must have been crazy to ever start going out with that loser. I'll snap his little neck." Buffy was furious.

"Whoa, Buffy, calm down, although that'll be a neat little spectacle, when I come to think of it, too bad Vamp boy won't get to do it first."

"Speaking of Angel- where is he? You two seem unnaturally close lately!" Buffy eyed him up closely.

"Oww, Buff," he tickled her playfully. "do I sense jealousy vibes in here or what? You must be pretty desperate for that love *wink* thing, aren't ya?"

She simply snorted disgustedly. "Let's go before I reconsider my non-violence strategy and release all that pent up sexual energy on you, Xander! Only it won't be sexual in your case."

.

The next day. In the library.

"Giles, I am really worried, he hasn't shown up to lecture and no one has seen him since yesterday." Buffy gave her watcher an imploring look, he had to make it better, he just had to find him, or she would break.

"It isn't like him, really. He was supposed to come back after patrol and report to me. But he didn't, I thought it as odd, but then.." Giles trailed off, it was his fault, he should have guessed something was wrong, Angel would never neglect his duties on purpose, if it wasn't for Buffy's sake. And for her sake Giles was worried, deeply disturbed to be exact -- she looked so fragile, so lost, like a little girl. The fearless slayer reduced to a crying and shaken teenager -- what would any of the creatures she hunted say to this, would they ever recognize in this scared woman the mighty Slayer -- the protector of the innocent and weak. He doubted that.

"Yeah, we all really thought Angel wouldn't take the pressure and show up at Buffy's date with Riley" Xander added, seeking the approval of the others who in turn nodded their confirmation -- Willow, Oz, Cordelia. "Hey, speaking of Riley, where is he? He didn't show up today either? Doesn't that seem strange, maybe he had something to do with Angel's disappearance?"

"Like he could do something on his *pathetic* own" Buffy reasoned. "He left me ten dozens of messages saying he was attacked last night *like I care*. They didn't break anything, unfortunately" she sighed unhappily, "I guess I'd have to do the breaking up part as soon as I see him, but that's not really the priority right now. We need to find Angel, fast. Something terrible has happened, Giles, I just know it!"

Just at that the library doors opened and Riley semi-crawled in, looking like he'd had the worse night of his no doubt pathetic excuse for existence.

"Buffy, baby, I left you thousands of messages, why didn't you come to take care of your man, your one and only true love?" He almost cried out, sobbing in between the words, causing the gang to revert their gazes in amusement and disgust.

"Not now, Riley," Buffy didn't even acknowledge him with a glance in his direction.

"It's all because of that Angel guy isn't it? I am soooo disappointed with you Buffy. A vampire -- disgusting" He spat angrily. "But I, being so generous, am prepared to forgive you and take you back." He looked down at her, feeling all noble and gentleman-ish, looking anything but.

"A vampire" Her hand was on his throat as soon as the words came out. "I'll wipe that smug expression off your face, you moron. I never said anything about Angel being a vampire. Did you, guys?"

A chorus of no-s followed. All eyes were on Riley now, who squirmed in sweat, realizing that his slip up was a real hammer.

"Now, how about telling me what you know about Angel's disappearance before I get really, really mad" She tightened her hold on his throat. "I am waiting, Riley, and you don't want to make me mad, believe me!"

What was going on here? Where was his sweet, gentle girlfriend, his nice attentive girlfriend? She was acting psychotic, over a vampire, the things she was supposed to kill!

"Sweetie-p" he was cut off by her almost deadly grip on his throat. "O..k.I'll..tell..you..aw" he managed to croak.

"I am listening" She crossed her arms, removing them from his throat, nevertheless looking as if she wouldn't hesitate to place them back if he made one wrong move.

"Well, I don't know how it happened really. I, uh, decided I needed some practice, since you weren't so attentive lately.."

"Practice?" She quirked a brow still not getting it.

"Means he wasn't getting any, or are you dense?" Cordelia remarked. "Was he? Because I absolutely do not need those mental pictures..Aww, disgusting!"

"HE WASN'T, ok!" Buffy was fuming now, not only Angel's strange disappearing act, but they were now invading her sex life *not that she had any as it was* "And what does that have to do with Angel?"

"Well, I needed practice because I haven't ,..you know" He gave her a sheepish look.

"You're a virgin" Xander burst off laughing. "oh, boy..I bet Buffy could teach you some stuff?"

"Xander!" Buffy was clearly annoyed.

"Come on! It's not I that had steamy hot sex with a vampire with considerable, and you can say that again, experience in that area.."

"You had sex with HIM?" Riley was devastated, what kind of sick person was she. "Isn't that like necromancy? Have you ever thought about psychological treatment, because I know this really great shrink, he used to treat all the cows at home, when they got depression and stuff.."

"Save it for someone who cares" She shrugged off. *I guess my life is open for discussions.* "Angel! I won't ask twice!"

"Well, as I said I needed some,uhh, but I couldn't you know, because that would be cheating, so I..." he rushed the words. "Resurrected a dead chick, but it didn't go as planned."

"How considerate of you" she said mockingly. "What happened, she wasn't interested?"

"As a matter of fact, yes" he replied somewhat hurt. "She wasn't interested in me, but.."

"Angel" Buffy's eyes widened.

"I don't understand what is it about that guy and the girls, what does he trigger in them" Riley shrugged.

"Their eyes" Cordelia suggested jokingly.

"What did she look like?" Buffy had just about enough. She could take no more of this fear that was slowly creeping up her spine, threatening to consume her.

"Uhh, dunno, pretty, blond..I have this tape.."

"By Jove" Giles stared at the boy incredulously, *what a moron* "You taped it! And how did you ever find a resurrection spell in the first place?" Oh, he sure recognized a guilty look when he saw one. "The Diaries, you used the Diaries" Giles looked about ready to beat the living shit out of Riley. "That ain't the bloody yellow pages, you mindless fool"

"Careful, Ripper" Buffy couldn't help the smirk, although the situation was pretty serious, Giles did look strange showing off his antics. He was usually so into the whole boring librarian image. "The tape, Riley, now!"

"Well, it's not.."

"Get it" She enunciated the words clearly pausing at every syllable. There was something about her eyes telling him she wasn't joking and that it wasn't in his best interest to piss her off right now.

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Some minutes later.

Their eyes were glued to the tape. Too bad Riley wasn't as good at filming as he was at resurrection spells -- the picture was unfocused and the angle was constantly changing. They all saw Angel, patrolling with Xander, Xander leaving, Angel being threatened with a gun, but couldn't make out the attacker, as it was pretty dark. Buffy was the first to recognize her, even before Angel's lips formed the name, the feeling struck her. *Darla*

"Darla," She snorted, her hand hitting the stop button by accident, while jamming the remote so that the nuts and bolts flew around. "Why" he approached Riley with a grim expression that promised violence, carnage, or better evisceration "why, of all the undead bimbos you had to choose her!"

"Well, it's obvious." Giles interfered, getting weird looks. "She had certain talents, in which I can imagine Riley was particularly interested." The guy's shameful expression confirmed all.

"What talents?" Buffy as at a loss.

"Well, she, at her time, even before she was turned, was a very famous and rather elite concubine, one of the best?"

"Con-what?"

"Hooker" Oz clarified.

"Oh, my God." Cordelia exclaimed. "Angel spent a hundred and plus years in bed with a pro. Trust me when I say, go Buffy."

"Hey, they didn't spent all the time in bed *did they*, there was always the usual time-consuming demolition here and there, coupled with the occasional blood feasts, wreaking havoc and stuff."Who are you trying to convince, Buffy sighed unhappily. Not that it mattered anyway, the only thing that mattered was getting him back to where he belonged -- namely her bed. "Can you get that thing rolling, Xand?"

"Sure thing, I'll just do it manually." He said, glancing at the remote or rather at what was left of him. "But there's only a few seconds here." He squirmed at Darla kissing Angel, wondering it this wasn't the last shred that could drive a crazed slayer to the edge.

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Part 5

"Buffy, it has been an hour already. There is nothing on. Nothing!" Xander was starting to really doubt Buffy's sanity as she stared at the tape, playing it over and over, watching Darla and the gun, and the kiss. This was all too creepy.

"No, there is something, I am sure. Here he's looking straight at the camera, he must be giving us a clue as to where to find him, but what?" Her eyes widened. "Stop, right there, could you please turn up the sound, Oz."

"Sure. There -that's as high as it goes."

"Listen!"

"... Farmer.. Plaz.." It was almost a whisper but her super natural senses picked up on it."The abandoned warehouse.Let's go." She immediately switched to slayer mode, picking up a battle ax from the wall.

"I'll pass, thank you" Riley muttered. "You are all crazy! Willow, you seem sane enough, let's go, there is no use risking your life over a vampire!"

"Thanks, Riley, but no, thanks. He's no vampire anymore, but even when he was, he was no ordinary vampire -- he's always been a friend, but go ahead, Riley, and next time someone attacks you, please do us all a favor and don't come out alive"

"Auch, Wills, that hurt." Xander laughed. "That was very, very naughty" He stared at Riley's retreating from. "Not to mention rude."

"I thought it was sexy" Oz whispered, hugging his little wicca, before grabbing a crossbow and following the now, heavily armed group through the door.

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At the warehouse...

Darla was getting rather pissed off with this new human-ey version of Angel, he was so unlike the man he used to be centuries ago when she turned him in that alley. Sure he was pretty much drunk then, but now all he did was mope some stupid cheerleader, all remorseful and oh, so very soul having. It was disgusting beyond words. Even torturing him (and she loved that) was becoming more and more boring, she never got the reaction she was aiming at, damn his self control -- after a whole day of torture, anyone would have cracked. Apparently anyone but him. It unnerved her, but also excited her in a way she never believed possible, but she'd never admit that of course.

"Ts, ts, ts ..Still waiting for the slayer in shining armor to save you. That isn't going to happen" She kicked his bleeding form ruthlessly. She might be moved by his poise, but she wasn't that moved, she could tear every limb off his body making him scream in agony for hours with no end and delight in it, but it wasn't what she was aiming at. Not at all. "How do you feel for a bit more fun" Ignoring his pained expression, she mused upon her new weapon of torture -- she had already tried firebrands, knives..what next -- maybe chainsaws... "You know there is a way out. I can make all the pain go away, then it'll be like before. Just say the words. I know you, Angel, you crave the peace, the confidence, the power... "

"You don't know me at all" he managed through cracked lips, tasting his own blood. His condition was pretty bad, he probably had a few broken ribs and slight concussion and he couldn't move his right hand, but it was the lack of blood that worried him. He knew he could lapse into unconsciousness any second and wake up as... No, he didn't want to even think about it. He never wanted to be him again. Never, knowing as it is he would never be truly gone, that Angelus would always be a part of him. A part of him that was screaming inside of him to take the easy way, to give into the pleasant numbness, the comfort of not-feeling, not-caring, not-existing at all. But he couldn't do that, never, because he knew the first person he was going to go after as Angelus would be her -- Buffy, his Buffy. And he couldn't allow that, even if it meant giving up his life to save hers. He was ready.

"You never knew me, only someone who means something to you can know you inside and out. I never cared for you, I never loved you."

The truth in his eyes scared her -- he was powerful, truth gave him power she understood, even over her. But she would break him, yes she would. And it would be twice as pleasurable.

"And you loved Biffy or what's her name" She mocked him. She was so preoccupied with the plan that formed in her head she didn't notice the shadows crawling in from the back door and he was so weak he didn't pick up on anything either.

"Buffy, her name is Buffy. And I do love her -- she is and always will be the only woman I will ever love."

"And what does she give you for that undying devotion" she smirked. "She boinks to death a corn boy from Iowa. How endearing! You grovel around, heart-broken, and she makes out with the new flavor of the month. Foolish boy, you were never more than a crush for her." She was delighting in the way pain shone through his eyes, even though he tried his best to keep his cool façade on.

They were both oblivious to another spectator, who was even more deeply affected by Darla's cruel words than Angel, because he was feeling the truth of them hanging like a sword over his head. It was Buffy -- she was hardly keeping her feelings in check, and she was about to lose control and throw herself at Darla. More so, because she could read the hurt in his eyes and knew she was the cause of it in the first place. That she put it there with her crazy attempts to make him jealous. She only prayed to whatever God was listening to return him to her in one piece, she'd make sure he would have no reason to ever doubt her feelings for him again. But as it was, she couldn't make any move now, before they were all positioned or she would jeopardize his life and that of her friends. Therefore she waited and listened, albeit knowing it was slowly tearing her apart.

"It doesn't matter.." he said slowly, surprised by the truth of his own words. "it doesn't matter if she loves me now, and maybe I was just a crush, but she gave me much more than I could ever hope for." His eyes were shining with love and pride when he talked about his angel, his Buffy. "She looked at me and saw the man, not a monster, not a murderer, but a friend, a confidante. She is my hope, my light, my sun, I would do anything for her -- fight, cry, kill and I would ask nothing in return, but the knowledge that she is safe and happy, even with someone else."

"You used to kill for me, Angelus, not so long ago, remember," she cut him off furious. "What can she give you that I can't -- she can never be as I was, or teach you what I have."

"You still don't understand -- yes, you taught me a lot, but nothing can ever compare to what I've learned through her -- she showed me love."

"Love" She snorted in disgust.

"Yes, and that is not measured by torture and massacres. I killed for you, I killed with you- love isn't about being ready to kill for the one you love, it's about being ready to die."

She looked at him gravely, realizing that she couldn't break him anymore. That he was calling the shots, he was manipulating her, she was well aware, he had chosen his own death and was pushing her towards it. "And you are ready to die for her, Angelus?"

"Yes, I'd die a thousand deaths for her, go to Hell and back, live a life in misery because I can't have her, all because I love her. She's my reason for living. I admit, I caved into the hunger, the need, back in that alley centuries ago, and I cannot find it in me to say I am sorry for that choice, although I am sorry for the consequences: the people who died because of me, the children who were never born. But it brought me to her, and for that I can never be sorry. You can kill me now, I've lived a happy life, because I've had the privilege of having her love, and I would never be HIM, Darla."

Tears were streaking down Buffy's face as she listened to the love of her life, proclaim for the last time she was the only thing in his universe, his reason for existing. She made a promise then and there, that once everything was over she would hold on to this man and never let go. She silently raised her hand, signaling to the others to be ready to step in any minute now.

"Then you'll enjoy one more privilege" Darla smiled her cruel and ruthless smile. "The privilege of dying by my hand, you have to admit it's only fair -- you killed me once." She raised the gun and pointed at his heart, still unnerved by his smile and the peace that had settled in his eyes.

"He killed you once all right and now it's my turn." Buffy chirped from behind. "Should've stayed dead."She kicked the gun from the surprised Darla and before Darla could attack a stake was protruding from her upper body. She disappeared wide-eyed, leaving a wider-eyed Xander with a stake in his hand.

"Oh, boy, that was quick. I hope she stays dead this time. Don't want to have that bitch on my tail."Xander wiped his forehead pretty pleased with himself.

"Angel" Buffy rushed at his side, trying to lift his unconscious form from the ground. He had lost consciousness sometime during, the tension and sudden twist of things proving too much for him to bear.

"He's lost a lot of blood. We'd better get him to a hospital." She heard Giles' voice through a haze.

"No" she almost shouted. "he hates hospitals" She added quietly. "Let's get him home and call a doctor. He'd be more comfortable there."

.

Part 6

"Hey, Buffy, how is he?" Willow's voice sounded vibrant and energizing, although Buffy could tell it was a bit forced, that they all worried, not only for him but for her well-being as well. They had reason, all right, she was beginning to wonder whether Angel was meant to physically experience all possible apocalypses and tribulations, and whether her own sanity could bear the answer to that.

It had been three days since they had found him barely breathing, after a hellish night of torture -- both physical and mental. It was a miracle he'd survived, the doctor had exclaimed after examining him for about an hour. He had a concussion, three broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder, not to mention numerous bruises and burns, but he was alive. He was lapsing in and out of consciousness, most of the time delusional -- he seemed to believe that Darla still had him and that he was going to die. Buffy stood by him, refusing to leave his side, changing the sheets, applying new dressings to his wounds, or simply muttering some endearing nonsense to calm him down. He had rambled about his past with Darla, his love for Buffy -- some things she never wanted to hear, some she was glad she found out, because he wouldn't, not in a million years, tell her what he felt, now that she had betrayed him, his love and herself. She knew her whole relationship with Riley was bogus, that it was meant to drive him over the edge, but she couldn't help remembering a time, when she had clung to Riley, pretending what she and Angel had was worthless, deluding herself that Riley could fill the void Angel's departure had left in her heart. Now, she was certain of one thing -- he was her life, her love and even if he didn't take her back (and she would do anything to have him back, groveling included) she would never give her heart to someone else. Once she'd tasted true happiness in his arms, she could never settle for something less.

"Oh, Angel," she whispered, tears in her eyes, "come back to me, please, I promise I'll never hurt you again, I'll dedicate my life to making you happy."

*He was dreaming, maybe this was the Purgatory, or rather the Narthex to Hell, for he was sure he wasn't going to Heaven. But then what would she be doing there, something as beautiful and pure as Buffy would never have place anywhere less divine than Heaven. So this was it, the long way of pain and humiliation was through -- he was at peace, he was dead. Though, if he were really dead why did she seem so vivid, was it an illusion or was she really there? It couldn't be, it didn't make any sense. All he could remember was Darla, telling him to choose between death and life as Angelus, but wasn't that death too, it was all so confusing. He slowly recollected his own words, his realization that his love for Buffy was the only thing keeping him alive, his speech - meant to drive Darla over the edge and prompt her to end his misery. And then all was darkness. Death, end, peace...*

"Angel, Angel, do you hear me, it's me Buffy, Angel, look at me!" He had opened his eyes again few seconds earlier but looked as if he were far away.

He looked at her, his gaze still unfocused, his thoughts miles away. She seemed to him to be a vision, a most welcome one and he directed all his fleeting feelings toward her. It suddenly didn't matter whether she was real or not, all she mattered was that she was there, so close to him, so warm, so human, and yet so divine. He wanted to touch her, to bask in her beauty, to have her melt his bruised heart with hers, to forget about all the Rileys and Darlas in the world, to lose himself, to find the kind of peace he only felt with her.

She sensed the subtle change, she read it in his eyes. The way they darkened with recognition and something more, was it desire? No, it couldn't be, why would he want her, why would he care after all she had done, after she went and rubbed Riley in his nose, just to make him jealous.

"Buffy.." he breathed in her name, so softly as a caress, she loved the way her name rolled out of his lips, his voice so husky, so absolutely breath-taking, so full of love.

He reached out for her then, closing in the distance between them; needing her touch, the comfort her skin gave him, when pressed to his. He wanted this, he craved it, he needed it. For once it didn't matter whether she was real or not. He was in a state of such a painful need of her, his mind gave in to the demands of his heart. And it was telling him: grab her, hold on to her like there is no tomorrow, because there would be none, not for you, not for this love, this impossible love that wasn't meant to happen in the first place. And he did, for once in his life he did what his heart was telling him, ignoring the warnings of his head.

He reached for her. The expression in his eyes -- unmistakable. She was dreaming, of that she was certain, but it didn't matter. All that was important was him and her, together as they were supposed to be. She had waited for this for so long, too long; she had been denied until now. God, it had been long enough. She couldn't bear it anymore. She gave in to the hunger that was consuming them both.

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Part 7

She slowly turned around in her sleep and her hand came in contact with a smooth surface; she snuggled in closer -- it felt so good, it felt... like home. Slowly she opened up her eyes, afraid if she rushed it would all disappear. But it didn't -- he was there, he was really there. Or rather - she was there, in his bed; but it was his arm resting on her belly, his breath that tickled the back of her neck. She slowly disentangled herself from his sleeping form, she just wanted to look at him -- so peaceful, so beautiful. Memories of last night flooded her mind -- it was the best night ever, she'd never been this happy as when she woke up in his arms -- it made up for one other night long ago, when he wasn't there when she woke up in his bed.

She was practically shining with happiness, she had to tell anyone or she would burst. She sneaked out of bed, and grabbing the cordless phone that lay by it, headed for the kitchen.

"Hi, no, Willow, it's me -- Buffy. No he's fine..As a matter of fact great... Hmmm, something definitely happened... Well, yes, and I feel great, I feel happy. Willow, of course it was great, "she blushed, remembering just how great it was; she laughed, rolling her eyes. "He's sleeping, but it's been a good start and I am so not ever going to leave his side..or his bed" She chuckled again and then stifled a yawn. "Ok, I promise to give details tomorrow -- yes, lots of juicy ones, now go to bed..Oh yes, I am definitely going back to bed myself..Bye, see you later."

She placed the phone on the counter and went back to bed, snuggling comfortably in Angels' waiting arms, and promptly drifting to sleep without managing to take off the goofy content smile that graced her face.

.

He smiled in his sleep, this dream was so good, although he was used to dreaming about her, this dream was really good. So good, it almost felt real. It was only a dream, but if it wasn't for the way her hair brushed against his chest, the way her breath came out in little puffs... God, he was fully awake now. All in a matter of seconds. She was real, she was there, in his bed. Oh, God, in his bed. He panicked -- he could feel his heart in his throat, beating furiously, his mind still troubled with images of last night. Last night, he almost blushed at the thought -- it was the best night of his entire life... *and unlife* if you don't count that night long ago, that rainy night when they gave in to their feelings for the first time. Oh, boy, he'd really messed up this time. He looked at the still sleeping form of his lover, he didn't remember being so confused ever. With one last glance he sneaked out of bed and put on his clothes, ignoring the burning pain that spread all over his body when he just about moved a muscle.

He had to think, he had to decide... He messed up royally this time, this time it was all his fault and he knew it. He had made the first step, without thinking about the consequences. He had been so selfish, his need for her -- so overwhelming, but that didn't excuse him. No, he was the only one to blame -- he had drawn her into this, messed up whatever chances she had ever had of leading a normal life. He didn't deserve this, she didn't. He knew he was going to hurt her, but there was no other way. It was for her happiness first and foremost, because soul or not, he would always be a danger for her and life with him would be trial, and she had had more than a handful of those.

She woke up with a start, realizing he was no more beside her. She looked around frantically and found him sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, looking at her intently, his eyes hooded.

"Angel" she whispered, not sure how to go on, oblivious to why he had left the bed in the first place.

At first he didn't move, he made no sign whatsoever acknowledging that he had heard her.

"What's wrong?" She got out of the bed and approached him, placing her hand on his.

This simple gesture was enough to send him flying half way through the room, as if he were chased by fire.

"Don't.." he hissed. "I know this is going to be hard for you, Buffy." He paused, struggling with his own feelings, his weakness, his need. "But this," he gestured towards her and the bed. "can't go on. It was a mistake, it's all my fault, and it will never happen again."

She was looking at him, her eyes huge and luminous, the tears streaming freely down her face.

"I don't understand" She whispered brokenly. "Why?"

"I was lost, I thought I was imagining things, I wasn't thinking clearly. I don't want this, and if you'd think carefully you'd understand you don't want it either."

"But, but I love you, and you, you said you loved me too." She managed through heavy sobs.

"Sometimes that isn't enough."

She lowered her head in defeat: she wasn't good enough, she was a failure, a huge failure when even the first man she gave her heart to rejected her, twice. "I understand. I won't bother you again..." How could she be so stupid to believe that a simple schoolgirl could hold the attention of someone so extraordinary as him; he had realized he could do much better, after only a single night. She was pathetic, she was worthless. She was nothing.

She left, hurriedly picking up her scattered clothes, without looking back; only too glad he was letting her flee this room, this whole nightmare without adding more grief to her already damaged heart. She could bear his disappointment, but not his contempt.

He could still feel her, still see her wounded expression --a sight that would haunt him until his dying day. Oh, but had death ever been more welcome!

He smashed his fist against the cold hard wall, too numb to feel it give in, far too wrapped up in grief and longing to see his own blood on the remnants. It was over, this time it was really over, he had seen it in her eyes -- the same endless pool of sorrow he was drowning in. She wouldn't be his lifeline now, she wouldn't save him this time because no one could save him from himself. But she would thank him, yes, one day she would thank him.

The End?

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