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 Angel's Secrets

Character Files: "When Buffy Met Angel"

We were first introduced to the mysterious Angel in the Buffy premiere, "Welcome to the Hellmouth." A shadow was shown following Buffy into an alley, where she momentarily disappeared before swinging down and kicking the person in the back. Then we saw Angel, taking our breath away for the first time of many to come. Angel told Buffy not to worry - he doesn't bite - and that he wanted what she wanted which is to "kill them all." Buffy sarcastically disagreed and Angel tossed a box to her. He then warned her about "the Harvest." When Buffy asked him, "Who are you?" He replied, "Let's just say that I'm a friend." She clipped, "Yeah, well maybe I don't want a friend." Angel said smugly, "I didn't say I was yours." He smiled a little and then walked into the night. Buffy opened the box; there was a silver cross inside.

When Angel and Buffy met again, Buffy was exploring a tomb for a secret exit when Angel suddenly appeared behind her. He said that the vampires don't like him dropping by because they don't like him. He also mentioned that he thought she would have figured out the entryway sooner. Buffy said that if he was going to keep hanging around he could at least tell her his name, and he said, "Angel." He told her not to go into tunnel because "the Harvest" is coming. Then he admitted that he was afraid. Buffy said that she had to go because a friend or at least a potential friend was down there. She asked him if he knew what it was like to have a friend. Angel's silence was telling and we knew then that he had many secrets. He directed her to where the vampires were mostly likely hiding. Then Buffy asked him to wish her luck, but he said nothing. After she left, he whispered, "Good luck." At the end of the episode, there was a brief scene of Angel saying, "She did it. I'll be damned" as the vampires ran away from the Bronze.

Angel appeared next in the episode, "Teacher's Pet." He approached Buffy in the Bronze and cryptically warned her to be careful and not to show "him" any mercy. He said to her, "You're cold," as she rubbed her hands on her arms. He took off his leather jacket and put it around her. (How cool was that?) She gasped as she saw deep slashes on his arm. Angel said that he was not careful enough and walks off. At the end of the episode, Angel walked up to Buffy as she was sitting in the Bronze and said that he heard that there was one less vampire making a nuisance of himself. She started to take off his leather jacket to return it to him, when he smiled and told her to keep it because it looked better on her. As he walked into the crowd, he turned back and sexily smiled at her and Buffy softly said, "Oh boy." This was our first indication of the dangerous attraction between Angel and Buffy.

In the episode, "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date," Angel again met Buffy in the Bronze. Initially, Buffy looked happy to see Angel, but when he warned her about the danger of the Anointed One and the Master, she responded angrily that she was there with a boy who wanted to be with her. In disbelief, Angel asked, "You're here on a date?" Buffy asked why is that so hard to believe, then introduced Angel to Owen. Angel told Owen that he knew Buffy from work. Buffy rushed off with Xander and Willow to save Giles, but turned back and kissed Owen in front of Angel saying that she really wished she could stay. Of course, we all know that Owen got dumped at the end of the episode as if he ever really had a shot.

The pivotal Buffy episode for Angel was titled "Angel." Here we learned who Angel really was. His background and his tentative feelings for Buffy were explored. The episode started with Buffy thinking about not having a guy in her life. As she talked to Willow about being attracted to Angel, he lurked in the background and for a moment she sensed him. Buffy left the Bronze and on her way home she was attacked by "three virile vampires." Angel intervened fighting the vampires saying, "Good dogs don't bite." He was struck by a pipe just before he and Buffy ran away. Buffy ran to her house and they dashed inside as the vampires caught up with them and banged on the door. Angel told her that vampires can't come in unless they are invited. She said that she had never tested the theory. Then she looked at him and said, "You're hurt." She got a first aid kit and as she walked into the kitchen, she told him to take off his shirt. Angel pulled off his shirt and sat on the kitchen table. Buffy saw the tattoo on his back and said, "Nice tattoo."

(Click for larger picture)

Courtesy of Todd McIntosh. He is the show's makeup artist and created the tattoo for Angel. Todd told me, "the tattoo is based on illuminations from the book of Kells and depicts a winged cat." Thanks Todd for responding to my question. Thanks to Phoenix for allowing me to use the picture.

As Buffy tended Angel's wound, she asked Angel if he was following her. He replied with a smile, "Why would I do that?" Buffy's mom, Joyce came in and Buffy was forced to introduce her to Angel as a friend who was tutoring her in history. With a disapproving glance at Angel, Joyce told Buffy that it was too late at night to study and that Buffy's friend should leave. Buffy pretended to say goodbye to Angel, but when she closed the door he was standing there smiling. They went up to her room and Angel said that he really thought that he should go, but Buffy insisted that he stay in case "the fang gang" were still hanging around. He turned his back while she changed and Buffy asked him why he was hunting the vampires. Angel said, "Somebody has to." Then Buffy asked what his family thought of his career choice, and he said that they were dead. Buffy said she was sorry and asked if it was vampires that killed his family. Angel distracted her by saying that she looked pretty when she went to bed. Buffy got into bed and Angel laid on the floor next to her. Buffy asked, "Angel, do you snore?" Angel responded with a smile, "I don't know; it's been a long time since someone has been in the position to let me know."

The following night, Buffy brought Angel some food and asked, "So what did you do all day?" Angel replied, "I read a little and just thought about a lot of things. Buffy, I... " Buffy rushed over to her diary and put it in a drawer as she exclaimed, "My diary! You read my diary?! That is not okay. A diary is like a person's most private place." Before Angel could say anything Buffy nervously explained how she didn't mean exactly what she wrote and that "A" did not stand for "Angel", but for "Achmed, a charming foreign exchange student." Angel interjected, "Your mother moved your diary when she came in to straighten up. I watched her from the closet, I promise. I didn't read it." Embarrassed, Buffy murmured, "Oh." Angel said, "I did a lot of thinking today. I can't be around you because when I am... " Buffy began to mutter, "No big... Water under the bridge, over the bridge." Determined, Angel continued, "... all I can ever think about is how much I want to kiss you." "Kiss me?" Buffy gasped looking at him in surprise. Angel went on, "I'm older than you and this can't... I better go." Buffy slowly walked towards him and asked, "How much older?" Angel muttered, "I should go." "Go, you said," Buffy replied. Then they kissed each other passionately. As they kissed, Angel pulled away and Buffy asked, "What... what is it, what's wrong?" Angel snarled and then morphed into a vampire. (I can't decide who was more shocked: Buffy or me.) Buffy screamed and Angel scrambled out of the window.

Buffy, Giles, Willow, and Xander discovered from the "Watcher's Diaries" that Angel was in fact, "Angelus, the one with the angelic face." He was a 241 year-old Irish vampire who had wrecked havoc through Europe before he suddenly stopped killing and migrated to America. Meanwhile, Angel returned to his apartment. Sensing someone was there, he asked, "Who's there?" Darla, another vampire, revealed herself and accused him of living like one of "them" (mortals). When Angel said that he was not exactly one of them (vampires) either, Darla pulled open the window blinds letting the sun stream into the room and causing Angel to flinch violently backwards to avoid the sunlight. Darla pointed out that he was not living off quiche as she opened his refrigerator to reveal packs of blood. She went on to say that he was trying to kill the other vampires with his new friend and repressing his true nature. Taunting Angel, Darla said that she was not afraid of him, but was sure that Buffy was and that Angel should tell her about the "curse" as she left.

That night, Angel went to Buffy's home, but turned away before knocking. He heard a scream and burst through the door. He saw Darla with blood on her mouth holding an unconscious Joyce who had puncture holes on her neck. Darla threw Joyce to Angel who had to visibly restrain himself from feeding on her. When Buffy arrived home, she saw Angel holding her mother. She threw him through a window and told him if he ever came back that she would kill him. After taking her mother to the hospital, she decided she had to kill Angel despite her intense feelings for him.

Selecting a crossbow, Buffy went to the Bronze to find Angel. At the same time, Darla was taunting Angel about fighting his true nature. She said, "Did you think that she would understand, that she would look at your face, your true face, and give you a kiss?" Darla told him to accept who he was and not to let Buffy hunt him down. Angel angrily responded that he wanted it done. As Buffy entered the Bronze, Angel appeared behind her. Buffy called, "I know you're there and I know what you are." Angel replied, "Do you? I'm just an animal, right?" Buffy said, "You're not an animal. Animals I like." Angel said, "Let's get it done." Jumping above her, he attacked her. When Buffy had a clear shot at him, she hesitated and Angel said, "Don't go soft on me now." She shot an arrow into the wall next to him and he commented, "A little wide." Buffy asked him why, after she invited him into her home, he had betrayed her and attacked her family.

Angel walked towards Buffy and said, "Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends and their friends' children. For a hundred years, I offered an ugly death to everyone I met and I did it with a song in my heart." Buffy asked, "What changed?" Angel replied, "Fed on a girl about your age. Beautiful, dumb as a post, but a favorite among her clan." Buffy queried, "Clan?" Angel answered, "The Romani... gypsies. The elders conjured the perfect punishment for me. They restored my soul." Sarcastically Buffy commented, "What, they were all out of boils and blinding torment?" Angel explained heartbreakingly, "When you become a vampire, the demon takes your body, but doesn't get your soul. That's gone, no conscience, no remorse. It's an easy way to live. You have no idea what it's like to have done the things that I've done and to care. I haven't fed on a living human being since that day." Buffy angrily said, "So you started with my mom." Angel said, "I didn't bite her." Buffy asked, "Then why didn't you say something?" Angel somberly continued, "I wanted to [bite her]. I can walk like a man, but I'm not one. I wanted to kill you tonight." Buffy put the crossbow down and walked over to him. Exposing her neck to him, she said, "Go ahead." Angel smiled slightly and Buffy said, "Not as easy as it looks."

"Sure it is," said Darla who had entered the Bronze unbeknownst to Buffy and Angel. She was in her game face and said, "Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?" Buffy ventured, "Bad hair on top of that outfit?" Ignoring her, Darla went on, "To love someone who use to love you." Buffy looked at Angel, "You two were involved?" Darla added, "For several generations." Buffy responded, "Well when you've been around since Columbus, you're bound to pile up a few exes. You're older that him, right? Just between us girls, you are looking a bit worn around the eyes." Darla said, "I made him. There was a time we shared everything, didn't we Angelus. You had a chance to come home and rule with me in the Master's court for a thousand years, but threw that away because of her. You love someone who hates us. You're sick, and you'll always be sick, and you'll always remember what it was like to watch her die." Buffy picked up her crossbow while Darla pulled out two silver automatic guns and shot Angel. She told Buffy not to worry, that bullets could not kill vampires - just hurt them like hell. Darla began shooting at Buffy who ran and hid. Buffy shot Darla with an arrow, but missed her heart. Then Giles, Willow and Xander came in and tried to distract Darla. As Darla was about to shoot Buffy, Angel pulled an arrow out of the wall and stabbed her in the heart. Before she died, Darla said disbelievingly, "Angel." Angel looked at Buffy who had tears in her eyes and simply walked away.

"Angel" ended with Buffy in the Bronze with Xander and Willow. Buffy said that she felt as if he was still watching her and Willow said that was because he was across the room looking at her. Buffy and Angel walked through the dancers towards each other. As others danced around them, they stared at each other intently. Angel said, "Just wanted to see you were okay. And your mother." Buffy said, "We're both good. You?" Angel chuckled and responded, "If I can go a while without being stabbed or shot, I'll be okay." There was a pause and then Angel said sadly, "This can't... " Buffy interrupted saying, "Ever be anything. I know. For one thing, you're 224 years older than I am." Angel smiled remorsefully and said, "I just gotta... gotta walk away." Buffy said, "I know, me too." They stood for a moment intently watching each other and then Buffy said, "One of us has to go here." They got closer and kissed passionately. As they pulled away from each other, Buffy asked, "You okay?" Angel swallowed, but remained silent. Then Buffy said, "It's just, painful. I know." She added softly, "See you around." Angel just stared at her. Buffy said, "See you around," and walked away. Then we saw the cross burned on Angel's chest: a symbol of their tragic love for each other.

In "Invisible Girl," Angel avoided Buffy. He met Giles and wanted to find a way help to Buffy. Giles told Angel that he would tell Buffy that he was here, but Angel said no, he could not see her because it hurt too much. Angel said that that he knew where the missing book about the Slayer prophesies were and that he would get it for Giles. Angel brought the book back and found Xander, Willow and Giles almost dying. He saved their lives and then left. Giles later lied to Buffy about who saved them.

The first season finale was "Prophecy Girl." Angel was arguing with Giles about the interpretation of prophesy in the book that Angel had brought him. It said that Buffy was going to die. Buffy began to laugh hysterically and then a confrontation developed. She screamed at both of them and threw a couple of books at Giles. Angel said, "Do you think I would let anything happen to you? Do you think I could stand it?" But Buffy stormed out of the library. Later Angel was in his room when Xander came in with a cross and insisted Angel help Buffy fight the Master. Angel seemed fatalistic that there was no hope, but went with Xander. They found Buffy lying dead in an underground pond. Angel told Xander to give her CPR because he (Angel) had no breath. Buffy was revived and Angel went with her to help the gang fight the vampires while Buffy finished off the Master. As they headed to the dance, Angel started to compliment her dress when Buffy smartly cut him off.

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In Buffy's second season, Angel appeared in the "When She Was Bad." He visited Buffy in her bedroom late at night after she returned from her summer vacation spent with her father away from Sunnydale. Angel warned her that the vampires led by the Anointed One were up to something. Buffy curtly asked him if there was anything else because he was interrupting a good dream. In fact, she had suddenly awoken from a nightmare about the deceased Master. Angel apologized and was about to leave when he said softly, "I missed you." Buffy turned repeating his words, but he was already gone.

The following night, Angel was at the Bronze when Buffy showed up in a sexy dress. He approached her and said, "Hi." She said, "Hi" and seeming exasperated, she asked him if she should beware, if there was danger at the Bronze. Angel said quietly, "I can't help thinking that I've done something to make you angry and that bothers me more than I'd like. Buffy snapped, "I'm not angry. I don't know where that comes from." Angel gently asked, "What are you afraid of? Me? Us?" Buffy wilted slightly, but said flippantly, "Would you contemplate getting over yourself for a second? There's no us. Look Angel, I'm sorry if I was supposed to spend the summer mooning over you. I didn't. I moved on." And after a pause she cruelly added, "To the living." Angel looked wounded as Buffy went over to Willow and Xander. Willow asked Buffy what was wrong with Angel, Buffy said that she didn't know and asked Xander to dance. She proceeded to do a very seductive dance with Xander who quickly realized that she was using him. Angel and Willow watched them obviously upset. Buffy walked away from Xander glancing back quickly at Angel as she left the Bronze.

The next night Angel followed Buffy as she headed to the Bronze to find the vampires. Buffy accused Angel of stalking her. He told her that she needed someone to watch her back. She asked, "Don't you mean neck?" She went on to tell him that she didn't trust him and challenged him to kick her butt. He said that he would not fight her and pointedly asked her if she didn't have somewhere to be. He went into the Bronze behind her and they realized that they had been tricked. Later Angel and Xander rescued Willow, Giles, and Jenny, while Buffy fought the vampires. When she had finished killing them, Buffy went over to the Master's bones and pounded them with a sledgehammer. She began to cry and Angel came up behind her. He put his hand on her shoulder and whispered, "It's okay... it's okay." She turned towards him sobbing and he embraced her tenderly.

In the next episode, "Some Assembly Required," Angel startled Buffy in a graveyard where she was sitting on a gravestone impatiently waiting for a vampire to rise. Angel told her that when vampires first wake up it's a bit disorientating. She said that it was weird thinking of him going through that. Angel responded, "It's weird to go through." Then with a pretense of nonchalance, Angel asked if she was there alone. Buffy said yes and asked why. He tried to be casual as he said, "I just thought you'd have somebody with you. Xander or someone." Buffy jumped down and said, "No. Why? Are you jealous?" Angel defensively responded, "Of Xander? Please. He's just a kid." Buffy moved towards him asking, "Is it cause I danced with him?" Angel obviously still upset said, "'Danced with' is a pretty loose term. 'Mated with' might be a little closer." Buffy asked a bit sheepishly, "Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance, which I only did to make you crazy by the way. Behold my success." Angel unconvincingly said, "I'm not jealous." Buffy expressed her doubt, "You're not jealous. What, vampires don't get jealous?" Angel responded peevishly, "See: whenever we fight you always bring up the vampire thing." Suddenly the vampire emerged from its grave and attacked them. After Buffy killed the vampire, she rounded on Angel saying, "What do you mean he's just a kid? Does that mean I'm just a kid too?" Walking away Angel said, "Look, obviously I made a mistake coming here tonight." As Buffy followed him shouting that he couldn't just walk away from her, she fell into an open grave. Angel thought that another vampire had risen, but Buffy held a high heel shoe in her hand and indicating tracks in the grass said that the girl had been dragged away.

The following night Angel went looking for Buffy, but instead found Cordelia hiding in a dumpster. Cordelia told him that Buffy was out digging up graves. Angel realized that she had lied to him by telling him that she would be home. When Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Giles returned to library, Angel and Cordelia were waiting. Angel stood and pointedly said to Buffy, "You're back." Buffy rattled at being caught in her lie could only say his name. Angel said, "Xander." Xander responded, "Angel." Let's just say there was major tension. Angel told Buffy, "I thought you were taking the night off." She stumbled saying that she was, but something came up. Angel unconvinced replied that Cordelia told him the truth. Giles asked Angel to help with their investigation of who was digging up dead girls. Angel told them that the person had been keeping parts after chopping the girls up. Then Cordelia roped Angel into going home with her because she was supposedly afraid.

Later Angel rushed to the scene of a fire where Buffy was comforting a classmate who had been taking the girl's body parts to create a mate for his re-animated brother. Angel and Buffy walked through the graveyard as she recounted the bizarre tale. Angel said that the guy had gone too far. Buffy said that he had done it for his brother and that, "Love makes you do the wacky." Angel responded, "What?" Buffy explained, "Crazy stuff." Understanding, Angel said, "Oh, crazy, like a 241 year-old being jealous of a high school junior?" She asked, "Are you fessing up?" He replied, "I thought about it. Maybe it bothers me a little." With meaning Buffy said, "I don't love Xander." Angel said, "Yeah, but he's in your life. He gets to be there when I can't. Take your classes. Eat your meals. Hear your jokes and complaints. He gets to see you in the sunlight." It was so poignant and heartbreakingly romantic. Buffy responded lightly, "I don't like that good in direct light." Angel looked up and said, "It will be morning." Buffy said, "I should probably go... I can you walk home." Gazing intensely into each other's eyes, Angel took her hand and they walked away together. As Angel looked down, Buffy glanced at him and smiled.

In the next episode "School Hard," we were introduced to the show's new villains, Spike and Drusilla. Spike confronted Buffy outside of the Bronze promising to kill her. Later on Buffy, Willow, and Xander told Giles and Jenny about Spike. Giles said that he didn't think that Spike was any different from any other vampire that Buffy had ever faced. Angel quietly entered the library and said that Spike was worse and that once he started something he didn't stop until everything in his path was dead. Buffy sauntered towards Angel and said, "We were at the Bronze before. Thought you said you would show." Angel smiled sexily, "You said you weren't sure if you were going." Buffy responded a bit coyly, "I was being cool. Come on - you've been dating for what, like 200 years. You don't know what a girl means when she says maybe she'll show?" Willow interrupted them and when Giles asked a question, Angel had done the thing where he's gone.

The following night Spike and his men trapped Buffy, the gang, her mother, teachers and students in the school. Giles told Xander that they needed Angel's help and sent him to get Angel. As Angel and Xander rushed to the school, Xander asked him about his plan. Angel instantly morphed into his vamp face and grabbed Xander by the neck. Angel attempted to bluff Spike by claiming that he had been pulling an Anne Rice routine with Buffy and then he offered Spike Xander's neck. They both leaned towards Xander, but instead of biting Xander, Spike hit Angel. Spike angrily berated Angel for betraying the demons. The vampires chased Angel and Xander who ran outside the school. They fought and Angel saved Xander from a vampire. Later Xander asked Angel why he didn't hit Spike first. Angel said that he couldn't because he had to see if Spike was buying it. Xander asked what if Spike had bitten him. Angel responded by smiling slightly and saying that then they would have known that he had bought it.

In "Reptile Boy," Buffy was out patrolling in a graveyard when Angel came up from behind startling her. He said, "It has blood on it." Buffy picked up a bracelet that she had found and spun around to face him, "Hi. What?" Angel explained, "I can smell it." Buffy responded the bracelet was pretty thin and probably belonged to a girl. Angel said, "Maybe." Then Buffy nervously said, "I was just thinking wouldn't it be funny to see each other when it wasn't a blood thing... not funny, ha ha." Angel asked, "Are you saying you want to have a date?" Buffy said, "No." Angel responded, "You don't want to have date?" Buffy replied, "Who said 'date?' I didn't say 'date.'" Angel said, "Right, you just want to have coffee or something. " Buffy repeated softly, "Coffee?" Angel continued, "I knew this would happen." Buffy looked hurt and stumbled as she said, "What, what do you think is happening?" Angel said forcefully, "You're only 16 years old. I'm 241." Buffy interjected, "I've done the math." Angel went on, "You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you want." Buffy said angrily, "No, I think do. I want out of this conversation." She walked past him bumping his shoulder. Angel said, "Listen, you and I both know if we date one thing is going to lead to another." (Prophetic, huh?) Buffy pointed out, "One thing has already led to another. Don't you think it's too late to be reading me a warning label?" Angel said, "I'm just trying to protect you. This can get out of hand." (Yep, he was on the money.) Buffy asked gently, "Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?" Then Angel grabbed Buffy's arms and pulling her close him for emphasis he said, "This isn't some fairytale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after." Buffy responded breathlessly, "No, when you kiss me, I want to die." She looked at him for a moment longer and then ran away. Angel stared after her swallowing hard.

Stung by Angel's rejection, Buffy went to a frat party with Cordelia. Willow covered for her and told Giles to call Angel instead of Buffy. When they figured out that the missing girls may have been taken to the frat house, Willow cracked and admitted them that Buffy was at the frat house. Angel asked if she had a date and Willow mewled. Angel harrumphed softly and Willow angrily told him that Buffy only went because he had given her the brush off. She pointed out that he was going to live forever: didn't he have time for a cup of coffee? Giles, Willow, and Angel rushed to the frat house where they met Xander. They pushed their way in only to find the missing girl, Cordelia, and Buffy who had been chained to wall being attacked by a giant demon snake. Buffy killed the reptile snake. Angel came down the stairs and stood in front of Buffy. They stared at each other for a moment then Cordelia clung to Angel and Buffy looked away.

In the last scene of the episode, Buffy, Willow and Xander were sitting in the Bronze. Willow asked Buffy if she had heard from Angel. Willow went to say that was amazing when he morphed because he realized that Buffy was in danger and how many guys could do that. With Louis Says' "She" (great song) playing in the background, Angel came down the stairs and stood at their table. He said, "Buffy." She looking slightly startled and nervous, she said, "Angel." Xander added, "Xander." Gazing at Buffy, Angel said, "I hear this place serves coffee. I thought you and I could get some sometime, if you want." Buffy said, "Yeah, sometime... " Angel smiled at her. Smiling back, Buffy continued, "I'll let you know." Buffy got up and walked away as she smiled in satisfaction

Despite their attempts to stay away from each other, Buffy and Angel started dating and fell in love. They made love and because of the gypsy's curse, Angel lost his soul in this moment of pure happiness. The soulless Angelus tortured Buffy and her friends, killing many people including her teacher Jenny Calendar. Buffy confronted Angel in a battle to the death. Meanwhile, her friend, Willow cast a spell which returned his soul in the middle of their fight. However Buffy was forced to banish him to hell to save the world.

Buffy grieved for Angel, but decided to say goodbye by placing the claddagh ring that he had given her on the ground where she had trapped him in hell. This returned Angel to earth, but he was crazed and unable to communicate. Buffy kept him hidden and cared for him. Eventually Angel returned to his prior state with his soul intact, but his relationship with Buffy was strained. Over time, they found their way back to each other, but their relationship was never the same. Angel came to the decision that their love could never be fulfilled. He felt Buffy deserved someone who could make love to her. However, he knew that if he stayed in Sunnydale there was no way they could stay away from each other so he decided to leave.

The series, Angel, follows Angel's adventures in Los Angeles as he searches for redemption.


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